"When dawn spreads its paintbrush on the plain, spilling purple... ," Songs of the Pioneers song from TV show "Wagon Train." Dawn on the mythic Santa Fe Trail, New Mexico, looking toward Raton from Cimarron. -- Clarkphoto. A curmudgeon's old-fashioned newspaper column, cross-breeding metaphors and journalism and art, for readers in 150 countries.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Cat flu pandemic

Have you considered all the bacteria cats bring into the house?

Sleeping on the end of the bed. Shedding all over the house. Using the kitty litter box. The odor from the box. Throwing up the food they don’t like. Gagging on hairballs. Rubbing their backs on the carpet and the furniture. Climbing on the cabinets, with feet that have been in the litter box. Sniffing the food with their dirty noses. Sneezing into the kitchen air. Sitting over the heat or air conditioner vents, propelling their germs into the air. Rubbing up against you with those whiskers that have been, well, you don’t want to know. Licking you with that tongue that has, well, don’t think about it….

I think it’s just a matter of time before a new flu pandemic breaks out, transmitted from cats to people.

A cat flu pandemic.

As a scientist, I’d label the virus the KITTYACHOO virus.

I consider this to be the real health threat to world-wide disaster. It’s happened before. Proof? Consider the ancient Egyptians. They made cats gods, and look what happened to them. They had to build pyramids to get away from them, but it was too late. Extinct.

No wonder dogs bark at cats. They’re trying to warn us.

I mentioned this danger to our cats. The cats? Well, right now, they’re sleeping on it.

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