"When dawn spreads its paintbrush on the plain, spilling purple... ," Songs of the Pioneers song from TV show "Wagon Train." Dawn on the mythic Santa Fe Trail, New Mexico, looking toward Raton from Cimarron. -- Clarkphoto. A curmudgeon's old-fashioned newspaper column, cross-breeding metaphors and journalism and art, for readers in 150 countries.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Scriptures according to the Tea Party--part 1

Translated the way God intended it
  • "In the beginning, we founded this country, and it belongs just to us and people who believe like us."
  • "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because of my assault rifle, and the fence we build to keep unwanted people out."
  • "To everything there is a season, a time for us to rule the country and take it back from unbelievers."
  • "Fox and Rush are a lamp unto my feet."
  • "Suffer the little children, especially if they're poor and not white. No money or food or schooling for them."
  • "I am not ashamed of the gospel that gives me power to take over the country and make everyone believe like us, or be shouted down or deported."
  • "God is love, and we get to say who he loves and who he hates."
  • "Blessed are the white, right wing fanatics, for they shall shout down all moderation." 
  • "Vengeance is  mine because I am God's appointed."
  • "Woe unto you journalists and liberals, for you don't agree with us, and you'll be cast into to book burning."
  • "Render unto Caesar--especially the military, but never for poor people."
  • "Turn the other cheek  to put them off guard before you blow them away with your assault rifle."
  • "Go into all the world and make them believe like us, and invade them if they don't or have oil."
  • "The poor you shall have with you always, and we intend to keep it like that. Just let them do our lawns."
  • "I am way, truth and light, and there's no room for discussion or compromise since we are always right."
  • "Let a woman keep silent,  except for Palin and Bachman." 
  • "Death to the infidel...uh, ooops."

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