What will they name after me on campus?

If you look around campus, you see people's names on buildings, and inside some of them, rooms named after people. I particularly like the Virginia Lamb living room. I have no idea who she was, but its a nice legacy, a peaceful room that's meant to be enjoyed in private or in a small group, though it reminds me whatever buildings are named for someone, they'll soon be forgotten too.

We name buildings after ex-presidents here, but in not too many years the following generations will pay no attention to those names at all, because they have no experience with the individuals. The Pharaohs of the Pyramids met the same fate. Take Murtaugh Hall for example. See what I mean?

But it got me to wondering if I'd ever have a room named after me at UCO. I once thought they might name The Vista newsroom after me, but that isn't going to happen, given campus politics. I do believe classrooms should be named after great teachers, but that isn't going to happen either. You have to be a donor or an administrator or a politician to get something named here.

So I came up with a list of possible rooms they could name after me, and some other people on campus. First thought was the bathroom in the communications building, because I did spend a lot of time in there. But then I realized they're be a lot of competition for naming bathrooms on campus, because so many are full of....

Well, maybe I could get the pond named for me, but all the trash floating in it, the carp, and geese droppings make it too appropriate for so many other people on campus.

They could actually name most of the large mirrors on campus for those "senior" faculty members with outsized egos. Non-tenured faculty and staff would not be allowed to use them.

Perhaps a sidewalk? Possible, just like they name stretches of highway and bridges after people and most of the people traveling by have no idea who it is. Can you see the little sign? "The Terry M. Clark Memorial Cracked Sidewalk." Well, maybe not.

How about parking lots? Or stairwells? Seating areas? the list goes on.

I'd already like to name some of the ever-changing paperwork after people. There's the IPP, plenty of other stupid acronym-anonymous forms, the assessment plans, endless "rubrics" trying to make us all cookie cutters. I think every form should be named after an administrator, so that we could cuss them specifically, rather than generally. Besides, it might make them a little more thoughtful in designing them.

But back to what I want named after me. I know, a fire hydrant. Think about it, and bring your dog.