"When dawn spreads its paintbrush on the plain, spilling purple... ," Songs of the Pioneers song from TV show "Wagon Train." Dawn on the mythic Santa Fe Trail, New Mexico, looking toward Raton from Cimarron. -- Clarkphoto. A curmudgeon's old-fashioned newspaper column, cross-breeding metaphors and journalism and art, for readers in 150 countries.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Geezer Comedy at Toyota--the quotes

Geezer A--"Institutional Survivor" cap. 
Geezer B--Moved here from Virginia.
Setting--Customer service area at Fowler Toyota in Norman

 A: "The wife likes to rearrange the bedroom every year. About the time I get used to it, she changes it. When you get up in the middle of the night, I have to stop and think where the bed is."
B: "Could be dangerous."
A: "Yeah, I don't want to sit down on a table and knock over a lamp."

B: "You retired?"
A: "Yes. I was a chaplain in the Air Force and then a pastor. Tried to get hired here  in nursing home management. Told me my MA degree meant I was overqualified, and besides, I wouldn't be around long enough. You?"
B: "Yes, after 27 years in the Army. Wife didn't think it was fair, so she retired. Then she started pawing the ground, went back to work. They didn't give her a raise, but a fancy title."

A: "You from around here?"
B: "No, moved here from Virginia 7 years ago because the wife wanted to be near the kids. I came out to hunt housing.    But I saw a house in a place called Rivendell. Wife has read Tolkien three times and likes the name. I'm lobbying for a double wide on 20 acres. We live in Rivendell."
A: "You sure are easy to get along with for a former military man."
B: "I am...after 50 years of marriage, I've learned to say 'Yes, Ma'am.'"
A: "I know. We've only been married 43 years, but you learn to go along."

A: "The world is full of grumpy people."
B: "Yes, too bad. I wake up every morning on the green side of dirt--made it through the night. It's a good life."

A: "I look like a cadaver and it took me a hell of a long time to get this way."
B: "When you bump into things, you learn where they are."
A: " I have a lot of fun with this hat. People look at it and don't know whether to talk to me or not."

A: "My sister and I haven't got along. A year ago she wrote me a letter telling me her counselor told her not to be in contact with her. So I didn't, until recently. I sent her a card, saying we weren't getting any younger, and I'd hate to die and not be reconciled. She called me and cried.
B: "Tell her to get a different counselor."

B: "I get along with the dogs better than the kids. We've got eight grandchildren, son in Austin, daughter in Atlanta. The three girls are in tournaments, so wife's going down to hang around the house with whoever doesn't have a tournament."
A: "We've got five grandkids, and they're all busy this summer."
B: "That's good. I support all these grandcritters as long as they outside doing something. Kids are supposed to go outside and get muddy and throw rocks and break something. Not sit inside on these electronic games."



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