Geezer Comedy at Toyota--the quotes

Geezer A--"Institutional Survivor" cap. 

Geezer B--Moved here from Virginia.
Setting--Customer service area at Fowler Toyota in Norman

 A: "The wife likes to rearrange the bedroom every year. About the time I get used to it, she changes it. When you get up in the middle of the night, I have to stop and think where the bed is."

B: "Could be dangerous."

A: "Yeah, I don't want to sit down on a table and knock over a lamp."

B: "You retired?"

A: "Yes. I was a chaplain in the Air Force and then a pastor. Tried to get hired here  in nursing home management. Told me my MA degree meant I was overqualified, and besides, I wouldn't be around long enough. You?"

B: "Yes, after 27 years in the Army. Wife didn't think it was fair, so she retired. Then she started pawing the ground, went back to work. They didn't give her a raise, but a fancy title."

A: "You from around here?"

B: "No, moved here from Virginia 7 years ago because the wife wanted to be near the kids. I came out to hunt housing.    But I saw a house in a place called Rivendell. Wife has read Tolkien three times and likes the name. I'm lobbying for a double wide on 20 acres. We live in Rivendell."

A: "You sure are easy to get along with for a former military man."

B: "I am...after 50 years of marriage, I've learned to say 'Yes, Ma'am.'"

A: "I know. We've only been married 43 years, but you learn to go along."

A: "The world is full of grumpy people."

B: "Yes, too bad. I wake up every morning on the green side of dirt--made it through the night. It's a good life."

A: "I look like a cadaver and it took me a hell of a long time to get this way."

B: "When you bump into things, you learn where they are."

A: " I have a lot of fun with this hat. People look at it and don't know whether to talk to me or not."

A: "My sister and I haven't got along. A year ago she wrote me a letter telling me her counselor told her not to be in contact with her. So I didn't, until recently. I sent her a card, saying we weren't getting any younger, and I'd hate to die and not be reconciled. She called me and cried.

B: "Tell her to get a different counselor."

B: "I get along with the dogs better than the kids. We've got eight grandchildren, son in Austin, daughter in Atlanta. The three girls are in tournaments, so wife's going down to hang around the house with whoever doesn't have a tournament."

A: "We've got five grandkids, and they're all busy this summer."

B: "That's good. I support all these grandcritters as long as they outside doing something. Kids are supposed to go outside and get muddy and throw rocks and break something. Not sit inside on these electronic games."

Conversation between Geezers at Toyota--Prologue

"You here waiting on your wife's car too?"
"Yes, getting it patched up."

Sometimes treasure falls into your lap when you least expect it, or in this case, in my ears. Sitting in Fowler Toyota at Norman this morning, for my Rav4's 30,000 mile physical, I was trying to read, sitting at a table near the free coffee.
I'd seen this gray haired old geezer earlier, wearing a black Veteran's style ball cap with little  pins on it and gold lettering. Neat gray mustache, glasses, flowery shirt, khaki shorts, white tennies, sitting in the corner, reading a book.
I shoulda known I was in for a treat when he walked by to get coffee. I always look at Veteran's caps, to see which war, which ship, things like that. His gold type read, "Institutional Survivor" across the crown. Underneath, it  read "Leave Me Alone."
Not being intrusive, I didn't even introduce myself. I wish now I had. Trying to read and mind my own business, I'm interrupted by another old geezer  in a t-shirt, green ball cap, green shorts, grey tennies, coming up and loudly starting a conversation with him--oblivious to the cap's message--about their wives' cars. From the knees down, you'd not tell the difference. White, slender untanned legs. White socks pulled up around their angles.  I don't really pay attention at first, annoyed like I am when people talk loudly on cell phones in public places, trying to impress other people with how important they are.
In fact, I picked up my computer, my bag and book, and moved a couple of tables away. To no avail. You could hear them all over the room.
Then it got interesting. Pretty soon, I was smiling to myself, and  trying to type everything they said, and moved back closer to where I could hear.
The treasure of a brighter day was dumped in my lap, listening to the back and forth banter of the two men as they got acquainted.
Twenty minutes later, after I'd sat and typed away, looking out the window so they wouldn't think I was eavesdropping, the buzzer vibrated, and my car was ready, and I reluctantly got up to leave. For a rare time in my life, I was sorry it didn't take longer so I could have enjoyed more of the conversation between geezers at Toyota.
Next--Comedy between Geezers at Toyota.