Candidates, we are aware that previous debate hosts have actually asked questions dealing with issues and obviously not been aware of your flawless pasts.
Questioning your views without due respect over your monumental statures is a clear sign of disrespect and a misunderstanding of the First Amendment. We know your open-minded supporters and yourselves clearly know the media roles are to be PR flacks to absolutely promote your views.
No wonder you and they were so angry at the upstart media for not fawning over you and taking everything you say as Gospel. Fox is right, you should not have to put up with negative questioning or questions about the issues.
For this last broadcast debate, we present you the following questions for your approval ahead of time. If any of these offend you, please let us know and we will profusely apologize and correct them.
- Brother, tell us how you love Jesus.
- Your worshipfulness, explain your wonderful plan to do away with taxes for the rich, and the awful minimum wage, thereby stimulating the economy.
- Great one, why should Americans vote for you?
- Righteous one, please talk about your fantastic program to deport all immigrants and restore American purity.
- Financial genius, what how would you cure the socialist Social Security and Medicare?
- Oh Holy One, please tell us about your Godly ideas of how you would restore religion to every home.
- Reverent respecter of life, refresh our memories of how you will stop abortion, increase the death penalty, and increase the bombing of our foreign enemies.
- Highly successful executive and wise stockholder in military contractors, shower us with your brilliant ideas of putting all those international troublemakers in their places and keeping them there.
- All: How will you save the country from what we all know is the anti-Christian, pro-Muslim, evil, socialistic, un-American dictatorship we have been subject to during Obama's rule?