On the long road, and story, to a silver lining as March ends

"Road to a silver lining," 8 x 10 watercolor, 140 lb. d'Arches cold press paper

The somber gray clouds parted and then departed as the sun rose today. Backlit, the white of their fringes, of their transparency, dazzled, reminding me of the idiom, "Every cloud has a silver lining."
Morning was chilly and damp when we arrived at the grocery store at 7 a.m., to stock up for quarantine days ahead in April. The skies matched our moods and the continual bad news of March.
But then, by 9 a.m., as I was coming home from another errand, it was spring again.
"I wonder if I can paint those silver linings," I thought. We need some silver lining these days.
But of course, the old journalist and English teacher in me had to ask, "Where did that phrase come from?" It was almost as much fun discovering this as painting it. I love learning.
What follows is more than you probably want to know because the more I found out, the more questions arose. But as I've discovered in the past few years, every painting has at least one story behind it, or because of it.
We can thank John Milton for coining the term in a poem he wrote in 1634:

"Was I deceived? or did a sable cloud 

Turn forth her silver lining on the night?"

He wrote Comus (A Masque Presented at Ludlow Castle), in honor of chastity. 
First presented on Michaelmas, Sept. 29, 1634, before John Egerton, First Earl of Bridgewater, it was to celebrate  the Earl's new post as Lord President of Wales.
Masques (today we call them "masks")? They were introductions to masked balls for royalty and some nobility. Aristocrats would enter from a stage in the middle of a hall and take part in allegorical dances.
Michaelmas? That's a feast of saints, and archangels Michael, Gabriel and Raphael.
The phrase didn't really enter common usage as an idiom until 200 years later in Victorian times. The Dublin Magazine writer Mrs. S. Hall, reviewing the novel Marian with this quote: 
In 1849, another literary review published it as the proverb we know, and usage quickly spread to America: "Every cloud has a silver lining."
So here you have today's watercolor, complete with redbud trees, "The road to a silver lining."

Scriptures according to narrow-minded liberals

In order to be "fair and balanced," I found these alternative translations of the Tea Party scriptures quoted earlier, intended for narrow-minded "liberals." It's ironic to me that people who are supposed to be open to all views can often not tolerate those opposed to them. (Lesson--fanatics of any extreme are close-minded).

This is particularly bothersome in a country that is supposed to be founded on the sanctity of the "free marketplace of ideas," which Milton envisioned  in "Aeropagitiga" in 1644, adopted by John Locke,     http://www.stlawrenceinstitute.org/vol14mit.html 

and Thomas Jefferson and John Stuart Mill in "On Liberty." Let everybody have their say, tolerate it, argue it, and since we are rational beings, we'll always choose the best answers and opinions. Thus the First Amendment, from our Founders, steeped in the philosophy of The Age of Reason.

Of course we no longer completely believe that in our society. Proof? We're not always rational--go to a grocery store when you're hungry and watch what you buy that's not rational. Darwin and Einstein have had a huge impact on our thought processes as society has evolved into the dawning of the ages of relativity (double pun). So also has increased urbanization, and multiple other factors.

Our current polarized political situation sadly but definitively reveals how lacking in reason we humans are. A great Republican senator from Maine is stepping down because she can no longer function. Conservatives will rue the day that they allowed extremists to force people like this out of office. In fact, we all will.

But, in the spirit of what America is supposed to be about, and about being able to poke fun at all sides in the tradition of Will Rogers, here are some liberal-approved translations of Scriptures. Notice that two of them didn't change! (That's one of my two allowed annual exclamation points)

• "In the beginning, something, we're not sure what, but don't say "God," did something, from nothing."
• "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will cease to exist." 
• "To everything there is a season, but it's all relative."
• "My iPhone has a lamp unto my feet."
• "Suffer the little children to liberate themselves from their conservative parents."
• "I am not ashamed of being an open-minded liberal, what I stand for, but if you stand for something religious, I might make fun of you."
• "God  is love, and we get to say who he loves and who he hates."
• "Blessed are the people who can't stomach Fox and Rush."
• "Vengeance is mine if I control the majority in Congress."
• "Woe unto you Republicans, for you deserve your current presidential candidates."
• "Render unto Caesar always for my pet causes, but not for the military which defends them."
• "Turn the other cheek only if you can get tax money to do it."
• "Go into all the world and make them believe like us, and invade them if they don't or have oil."
• "The poor you shall have with you always, and we'll fight for them so they can keep doing our lawns." 
• "I am the only way, truth and light."
• "Let a woman named Palin or Bachman please keep silent." 

God and professors--paradise without tenure

God:  "Welcome to Heaven. Sorry for the memorized formula speech, but we have to read you your rights. You've got your welcome packet, met the lawn crew, read the rules, signed consent and release of liability forms, signed up for health care insurance like Congressmen get, been assigned mansions just over the hilltop with silver fixtures and  streets of gold,  got pass keys to the stables of The Four Horsemen, know where the cafeteria is, gone through training to use the Help-Desk, got security clearance from IT, and have been issued always-clean-no-wrinkle white robes. Any questions?"

Professors: "When is fall break and what office hours do we have to keep?"

God: "Give Me a break. There is no work here,  no office hours. If you can sing, you can join the choir. For others, like Clark, we'll find something else to occupy your time, oops--no time up here either--to keep you busy."

Professors: "It seems we've filled out a lot of paperwork and useless forms."

God: "I figured you university types had lots of experience with that, so I wanted you to feel at home. Don't worry, the forms will soon change and you can do them over."

Professors: "How come the angels have different colored robes? We see some with gold, silver, bronze,  and ours are white?"

God: "The gold robes are for Full angels, silver for Associate angels, bronze for Assistant angels, and white for Lecturers."

Professors: "What? We're full professors. We don't even speak to lecturers."

God: "Up here, we have a real 'higher-ed' system. It's based on service, not snobbery."

Professors: "Service? We've all been on committees and task forces and faculty senates and  ..."

God: "Not that kind of time-wasting mediocrity. We don't have any time to waste. Literally. Up here, service means actually helping people."

Professors: "So what about research?"

God: "Just ask Me."

Professors: "Would you mind repeating that construct so we can dialog  with you as to the impact of this concept vis-a-vis our cognitive post-modern theses..."

God: "Stop it. No profanity up here."

Professors: "About research, God. It was more important that teaching or service down there, and we're specialists in analyzing minutiae so we can publish it in academic journals."

God: "I repeat, if you want to find something out, or do research, just ask Me. I know the answers, all of them. Quantum physics? Philosophy? The name of Shakespeare's dog? --Yes, Shakespeare had a dog. Never would have found out that would you?--Why Conan was really fired?  How the so-called Religious Right's synapses misfire in their brains and the chemical analysis of that?  Literature? Did you know there's a lower level of Hell that Dante forgot about? The one reserved for autocratic administrators and poor teachers.

"Name your discipline--such a silly term for knowledge--and I can give you all the answers, and the statistical calculations and chi-squares, immediately.Where do you think 'Rain Man' got his talent?  I am a know-it-all. No brag, just fact. Nope, no need for 'research' up here, sorry.

"And publishing? That is so 18th Century. Nobody reads those 'journals'  anyway, much less understands all that obtuse academic jargon. They just gather dust.  I'm not interested. Now if you've written something for Mad Magazine, I might be, or if you have an I-phone ap for Mad, cool."

Professors: "Then why are we here?"

God: "Good question. I wonder that Myself. Well, you all must be pretty good teachers. Your dossiers show you actually liked students--even Freshmen. You helped them learn,  weren't boring, didn't talk down to them, learned their names, mentored them, didn't mind being disagreed with, kept your doors open for them, weren't rude or arrogant, kept your office hours, were on time, were usually prepared, had a sense of humor and were secure in challenging them and being challenged."

Professors: "So how do we get to move up to Full Angel. What about 'shared governance' and when do we get tenure?"

God: "I've got a lot of people who need a lot of help. Lists everywhere. Get busy."

Professors: "Uh, about  faculty senate and tenure...."

God: "There ain't no faculty senate or tenure up here. I don't 'share governance.' That's why I'm God. Don't have to. Satan has a faculty senate--meets  and talks forever and never gets anything done...modeled after your systems."

Professors: "No tenure in heaven. Why we thought...."

God: "Ever hear of the fallen angels? No. Hmm, I thought you were educated. You did know Milton plagiarized in 'Paradise Lost,' didn't you? Check out his source, an old book among many I recommend. I've got it on a podcast if you want visuals. It might be apocalyptic for you.

Professors: "Godda...er, Youdammit, God. Tenure...why that guarantees our academic freedom...."

God: "MeDammit. Look, If you want tenure, you can go to Hell. Never have to leave. Never will."