"I want my country back"--so much is wrong here

"I want my country back." I'm mad and want to make America great again. All this anger and yelling in this campaign makes me think America is in the toilet. I may even switch and register Republican.

"...makes me think America is in the toilet."

Just think of all the things wrong here.
A school bus just went by, on paved streets, full of students on the way to public school, with well trained certified teachers.
My electricity is on 24 hours a day and my tap water is drinkable.
The  prescription medicines I take with that water is government certified, as is my breakfast food, and all other food, is  certified safe.
I can go safely down the street, patrolled by police cars and regulated by stoplights, to the grocery store packed with that food.
I have regulated insurance on my house, and firetrucks are not far away. I have a working sewer, not an outhouse, and zoning prevents someone putting up a trailer house or factory next door.
My car meets safety regulations, and the big trucks on the efficient highways and Interstates are licensed and inspected by the government. Gasoline also meets required standards.
Overhead a jet airliner, certified safe and piloted by trained  and certified pilots, heads for the airport under direction of government air traffic controllers.

"I attended four different kinds of religious groups..."

In my house I own firearms, without fear of seizure, and this past month I attended four different kinds of religious groups without fear or being forced.
I recently went for an annual physical and was attended by a licensed doctor and nurses. I paid for this with funds from my secure account in a bank, where my money is safe. On the way home I stopped and bought a cup of coffee and my money was accepted. We went out to eat last night, and never worried about the safety of the food. 
Overhead, another U.S. Air Force AWACs jet just slid across the sky, reminding me of our country's military, the most powerful in the world, protecting us from invasion, trying to deter war so our service people don't have to die. 
Refugees and immigrants from those trouble spots and poorer countries are desperately trying to come here, oblivious to the sorry condition of America.
I've seen bumper stickers criticizing Obama, and others praising him. I read newspapers that are not censored by the government. 
Citizens can safely go vote, for whoever they want, in a multitude of elections, and know that whoever gets the most votes will win
I work at the University of Central Oklahoma that must meet certain safety and fire regulations, and my benefits include retirement.

"a young man in a wheel chair with a service dog,"

On that campus yesterday I saw a young man in a wheelchair with a service dog, able to go to college, which would never have happened when I was that age.
And there are a multitude of races and  citizens on that campus. In my classes I've had students from around the world and across the country--no segregation. I've had public schooled, private schooled, home-schooled, foreign schooled. All are welcome, and treated equally.

 "All are welcome and treated equally".

In one day I saw a booth for Christians on campus and another by Muslim students informing others. Outside, a small group was strumming a guitar, singing a religious song, with some hands reaching for the sky. There's also a skeptics club on campus, a bass fishing club, and a multitude of others.
I've seen anti-abortion displays, and pro-choice displays, across the sidewalk from each other.
A friend and favorite former student spoke to one of my classes this week. During her presentation, she essentially criticized the president. Some in class agreed, and some didn't, but her comments  were welcome. 
Are there things wrong with my country? Of course--crime and poverty and injustice and inequality and racism and hatred and prejudice and unfounded fear, corruption in buying politicians ... the list goes on. It is indeed maddening...has it ever been different?
Oh, I forgot about how mad I am and wanting to make America great again. My garbage is picked up every week, not strewn around or left to stink on the roadside.

"You take the outhouse"

Speaking of garbage...you take the outhouse if you want it back...it fits.
I'll take my country the way it is, not the way it never was.

A new year, new experiences, new thoughts, First Amendment

We attended the four-hour Chinese New Year celebration and worship and vegetarian meal at the Buddha Mind Monastery in far southeast OKC today.

Inside the foyer

Still processing and decompressing all that my senses encountered. Much to write. Susan and I and friend Christy Vincent attended. Thanks to friend and former student Sheri Guyse for inviting, and to Dave Rhea for joining us too.
As I drove up to this impressive building today, watching all kinds of Americans enter, I thought "First Amendment." Freedom of religion, not state-sponsored religion, but all religions welcome here. I wish our legislators and those who think we're a "Christian" nation could attend.

What Westerners would call the "sanctuary"

Those thoughts were fleeting as we took off our shoes and entered a different world, a world of peace and mesmerizing chants in a different language and an English homily, and strange liturgies with lots of bowing, and offerings of fresh flowers.
I took photos and now regret I didn't record some of the chanting, which transported you to a realm of peace. I wish I could have monitored my blood pressure as I'm sure it dropped.  There were about 100 or so folks there at 10:30, and then after the break and before the free meal, the place packed with more than double that for the liturgy of offering, more chants, and a visit by the Chinese dragon. More photos later.

Susan putting her shoes on after our visit.

There's so much about this I do not understand, humbled by my ignorance of an ancient belief with more than 500 million  followers. I don't even know what to call the woman who gave the homily, but it was compelling with advice on changing the world with our own thoughts and action, and including  the words, "every day is a new year."
Indeed, this is a new year's day.

Shoe leather politics

Bernie asked me for advice--I'd make a good vice-president, I said

Good journalists, good cops, good ad people, wear out a lot of shoe leather, not relying on the phone or internet, but meeting people, being on the scene.
I thought the same thing at the close of the Iowa caucuses. The upstarts in both parties had the old-fashioned "shoe leather" approach to politics...on the ground organization.
More evidence of that already today on the UCO campus. I walked into the Nigh University Center to my office, and there on the ground floor, were volunteers for Bernie Sanders.
Wow...that's how campaigns are won. So, for my Sanders' enthusiast friends, and family, I thought I'd put in a good word for you.

Iowa--where the tall corn--and more grows

I get misty when I think of Iowa.
This was my rant today on Facebook, in the wake of the presidential caucuses:
  "I am really getting tired of all the high techy, big city snobmedia and pundits looking down on their noses and making fun of the Iowa caucuses. Excuse me--they don't fit in your pigeonhole so you can stereotype the people as hicks and the system as archaic? Hey, they use pencil and paper, they get together civilly, vote in a true democracy where every vote counts, and dare to do it differently than any place else in America. You gotta problem with that? If American politicians and the system make a bigger deal of it than perhaps it should be, it's your fault. Iowans are glad you're gone. And besides, you ougtta have to come up here and suffer the winters if you're gonna be so uppity. They can handle it, if you can't."
Pardon me, but it's personal.
Three of my four children were born in that state, and my fourth child, and his family now live in Dubuque, on the northeast side, and "caucused" yesterday. Proud I am.

"Iowa, where the tall corn grows."

My wonderful wife Neysa and I  moved from Oklahoma to Hawarden, in Northwest Iowa on the South Dakota border by the Big Sioux River to teach high school English many years ago, following friends, "establishing" a church, renting a Seventh Day Adventist church, driving to Sioux City and Sioux Falls every once in a while.

I never saw so much green, so much great rolling rich dark glacial farmland, America's Mesopotamia, nestled between two great rivers...full of life, corn, soybeans,  tempered by brutal winters, but with great solid people who valued education and hard work. In northwest Iowa our first son was born, Vance Conrad. Story below.

From there we went to Iowa City to get a graduate degree in journalism, and then to southwest Iowa to be an editor of a semi-weekly paper, the Herald-Journal, in Clarinda, Iowa, where our second son, Travis Austin, and our daughter, Dallas Page, was born.

Then we moved back to Oklahoma to be near family, worked at the Duncan Banner and bought into the Waurika News-Democrat, where our fourth child, Derrick Rogers was born.

Since then there has been happiness and sadness, successes and failures, but Iowa remains, deeply a part of all of us. I can go on and on about its influences in our lives. I understand why it is the original "American Heartland."

Misty-- from an earlier post:

"We headed east over the rolling hills of northwest Iowa  years ago.

"The rising sun turned the mist from the corn golden, as we sped up and down the hills in a light green Volkswagen to the hospital 30 miles away in LeMars. My wife's contractions had started before daybreak, and we left the house shortly after 5 a.m.
"'Come in here, you're responsible for this,' said the red headed doctor O'Toole, handing me a gown and mask, and about noon, a baby boy was born.
"Those memories are still real, and I know his mother remembers even more, because mothers remember more than fathers do, including  more about the births of our other three children. 

Iowan

"Years have passed and there have been lots of ups and downs since then for all of us. But we're blessed with our children and grandchildren. That boy is now M/Sgt. Vance C. Clark, USAF... ."

Our  other Iowans--

A chilly night 

Third time is a charm

My Iowans, Derrick and Naomi, ready to caucus!

 

 

God and professors--paradise without tenure, conversation

 (An earlier version appeared six years ago)

God:  "Welcome to Heaven. Sorry for the memorized formula speech, but we have to read you your rights. You've got your welcome packet, met the lawn crew, read the rules, signed consent and release of liability forms, signed up for health care insurance like Congressmen get, been assigned mansions just over the hilltop with silver fixtures and  streets of gold,  got pass keys to the stables of The Four Horsemen, know where the cafeteria is, gone through training to use the Help-Desk, got security clearance from IT, and have been issued always-clean-no-wrinkle white robes. Any questions?"

Professors: "When is fall break and what office hours do we have to keep?"

God: "Give Me a break. There is no work here,  no office hours. If you can sing, you can join the choir. For others, like Clark, we'll find something else to occupy your time, oops--no time up here either--to keep you busy."

Professors: "It seems we've filled out a lot of paperwork and useless forms."

God: "I figured you university types had lots of experience with that, so I wanted you to feel at home. Don't worry, the forms will soon change and you can do them over."

Professors: "How come the angels have different colored robes? We see some with gold, silver, bronze,  and ours are white?"

God: "The gold robes are for Full angels, silver for Associate angels, bronze for Assistant angels, and white for Lecturers."

Professors: "What? We're full professors. We don't even speak to lecturers."

God: "Up here, we have a real 'higher-ed' system. It's based on service, not snobbery."

Professors: "Service? We've all been on committees and task forces and faculty senates and  ..."

God: "Not that kind of time-wasting mediocrity. We don't have any time to waste. Literally. Up here, service means actually helping people."

Professors: "So what about research?"

God: "Just ask Me."

Professors: "Would you mind repeating that construct so we can dialog  with you as to the impact of this concept vis-a-vis our cognitive post-modern theses..."

God: "Stop it. No profanity up here."

Professors: "About research, God. It was more important that teaching or service down there, and we're specialists in analyzing minutiae so we can publish it in academic journals nobody  reads."

God: "I repeat, if you want to find something out, or do research, just ask Me. I know the answers, all of them. Quantum physics? Philosophy? The name of Shakespeare's dog? --Yes, Shakespeare had a dog. Never would have found out that would you?--Why Conan was really fired?  How the so-called Religious Right's synapses misfire in their brains and the chemical analysis of that?  Literature? Did you know there's a lower level of Hell that Dante forgot about? The one reserved for micro-managing  administrators and poor teachers.

"Name your discipline--such a silly term for knowledge--and I can give you all the answers, and the statistical calculations and chi-squares, immediately.Where do you think 'Rain Man' got his talent?  I am a know-it-all. No brag, just fact. Nope, no need for 'research' up here, sorry.

"And publishing? That is so 18th Century. Nobody reads those 'journals'  anyway, much less understands all that obtuse academic jargon. They just gather dust.  I'm not interested. Now if you've written something for Mad Magazine, I might be, or if you have an I-phone ap for Mad, cool."

Professors: "Then why are we here?"

God: "Good question. I wonder that Myself. Well, you all must be pretty good teachers. Your dossiers show you actually liked students--even Freshmen. You helped them learn,  weren't boring, didn't talk down to them, learned their names, mentored them, didn't mind being disagreed with, kept your doors open for them, weren't rude or arrogant, kept your office hours, were on time, were usually prepared, had a sense of humor and were secure in challenging them and being challenged."

Professors: "So how do we get to move up to Full Angel. What about 'shared governance' and when do we get tenure?"

God: "I've got a lot of people who need a lot of help. Lists everywhere. Get busy."

Professors: "Uh, about  faculty senate and tenure...."

God: "There ain't no faculty senate or tenure up here. I don't 'share governance.' That's why I'm God. Don't have to. Satan has a faculty senate--meets  and talks forever and never gets anything done...modeled after your systems."

Professors: "No tenure in heaven. Why we thought...."

God: "Ever hear of the fallen angels? No. Hmm, I thought you were educated. You did know Milton plagiarized in 'Paradise Lost,' didn't you? Check out his source, an old book among many I recommend. I've got it on a podcast if you want visuals. It might be apocalyptic for you.

Professors: "Godda...er, Youdammit, God. Tenure...why that guarantees our academic freedom...."

God: "MeDammit. Look, If you want tenure, you can go to Hell. Never have to leave. Never will."