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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Scriptures according to the Tea Party--part 1

Translated the way God intended it
  • "In the beginning, we founded this country, and it belongs just to us and people who believe like us."
  • "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because of my assault rifle, and the fence we build to keep unwanted people out."
  • "To everything there is a season, a time for us to rule the country and take it back from unbelievers."
  • "Fox and Rush are a lamp unto my feet."
  • "Suffer the little children, especially if they're poor and not white. No money or food or schooling for them."
  • "I am not ashamed of the gospel that gives me power to take over the country and make everyone believe like us, or be shouted down or deported."
  • "God is love, and we get to say who he loves and who he hates."
  • "Blessed are the white, right wing fanatics, for they shall shout down all moderation." 
  • "Vengeance is  mine because I am God's appointed."
  • "Woe unto you journalists and liberals, for you don't agree with us, and you'll be cast into to book burning."
  • "Render unto Caesar--especially the military, but never for poor people."
  • "Turn the other cheek  to put them off guard before you blow them away with your assault rifle."
  • "Go into all the world and make them believe like us, and invade them if they don't or have oil."
  • "The poor you shall have with you always, and we intend to keep it like that. Just let them do our lawns."
  • "I am way, truth and light, and there's no room for discussion or compromise since we are always right."
  • "Let a woman keep silent,  except for Palin and Bachman." 
  • "Death to the infidel...uh, ooops."

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